hi ppl! hi GOd... well, it is saturday night... just write down i did on fri before i talk about saturday! haha! actaully i was doing the poly compilation book and then watch TV, then off to Joo CJHiat to listen to tape... man it was very interesting. Learnt about evaluating God's church and the characteristics of spiritual leaders... DR J is powerful in sharing becuase of his conviction. do go down to Joo chait to listen too. Then off to school to play sports with two of mny guys, turn out alot of guys turned up too but we had a good time. Then off to home.

Recently, i learnt about the bigger picture in life. As i was looking through my results slip, to sent to the irish universities, i realised that with my results, it is gonna take hard prayers to get me into one school. I then realised that when i was younger like in year 1, i had failed to see the bigger vision God had in mind for me. I was not prepared and now i had to pay the price. I only thought of doing well in ngee ann ministry alone or just the youth. I had not expect myself to go church planting straight after my 3rd year. BUt now the reality is that i want to go, and it is a whole lot tougher. But i will not give up, instead this has let me to understand that we all have bigger visions in our life, that we must do well in everythign that GOd has put in our life not just our ministries we are taking care of. I realised that we need to be prepared at all times to do God's calling. Do pray for me and many others as we strive to go overseas. It is tough, as i count the costs. Recently, 2 students in Sydney were killed. People suggested that it was probably racism. Purists states are getting more and more popular in the European society. It is a scary thought. I realised that Church planting is not that easy a s i venture inot it, as the days go closer to going. But the bigger picture sets in my heart. If we do not do it for GOd, then who are we doing it for? It makes no sense to go to a country where the universities is not recognisible as much yet, where family are far away, where the cost of studies is too much to bear. Truly, only one thing pushes us on and that is the reality of Jesus. I pray that Jesus be the reason why i choose such a path, a path that is clearly unthinkable. I am scared because i know there is so much i still need to change, to grow, but i want to be more determined as Jesus drives me on.

Saturday, in the morning i went to the NATAs fair to see if there were any cheaper flights to ireland, but however i could not find any travelling to the place. haha! but as i look through the fair, thoughts flow in about why i should not go to ireland. I became sad, as the devil kept pouring discouraging thoughts into my mind and i did not want to entertain it but i did, sadly i did. I just felt that i had so much to change in my life, i did not know if i could do it anot. I was sad in my heart, i wanted to be what GOd want me to be, i want to display God the right way but i realised i kept failing and i hated it! i hated it! My life must change for the better for My god is a good GOd! I am not satisfied with the life i am living, for it was not pleasing. I went to service, i worshipped GOd to the hardest i could do! i just sang from my heart to the throat to my GOd! my God! the holy communion show hit me alot, alot. GOd really loves me. As the not so good thoughts came in, i fought it again! i Fought it hard! i could not like the devil win! I will not! GOd matters to me! GOd told me let go, let go and trust him, that's all i need to do. i responded to the second point of the sermon of riding on GOd's wind, i needed to, the more i did not want, the more i needed to do! God's word triumphs! Good news is that Yin jie converted! a np guy just pop in without anyone frfom the NP grp invited him. He came on his own accord. GOd was making wonders again...

and again GOd says, "look at me, rest in my hands and i will carry your burdens, as you serve, rely on me, rely on me..." a wonderful and loving GOd i serve....

Pearline