a tough day today...... but one that i am always thankful to God for.

well... got into a qurrael with my mum three days ago and you still can sense the strong coldness at home. I was very pissed that everyday i had to be scolded or grumbled at. I have my limits too... i realise that i have been getting angry and worked up easily. Sorry mum that i hurt you. I was still holding onto my rights.

Well got into another qurrael with yanxiang too... we did not fight but we had an argument on msn about meetings being compulsory. He was very pissed at the leaders, well that including me i guess. but at least i got to hear what he was upset about but i was angry that he blame another leader. It was not her fault. I was the one who told Sharon to come. Nel was willing to clear up any misunderstandings but yanxiang said no. I talked with Nel as we travelled down to Redhill. I was quite discouraged at Yanxaing's view point, and i wanted to clear up with him but i just did not know how.

We talked during CG at Redhill. Elaine did not come. Well Nel shared her pointview but also listened to Sharon's ones as well. Jolene met Sharon earlier for dinner, then Nel and I arrived. I did not say much. Do not know what to say anyway. Just joke around till Jolene left to meet her friend. Then Nel, Sharon and I talked, actually it is mostly both of them. It was quite good. We talked about the issue and then later joke around before we moved on to Tiong Bahru for teaching. I just listened. Sometimes i feel confuse leading the group, felt like i did not really know the people, did not know how they felt about things, duno how to help them to see God to another level, intentions somtimes being misunderstood. Guess what? I do not feel good at the moment, but i m holding on in God and believing him! it sure is not easy but i guess God has his best plans for us. Learnt about Paul and David. Both of them went through many problems and not so good times, but everytime God displays his grace to both of them and they were used mightly. HEard about Donald and Clarence's story, i felt very blessed and shameful. Because no matter what they face at home, they still serve with alot of trust and joy in the Lord... even when sometimes they reach a point of desperation... How sometimes i complain about the little things in my life? encouraged.

Went home with SHaron, but we did not talk much. Just suddenly lost of what to say. Had no appetite the whole day. stomach is kinda growling at the moment but still no mood to eat. no lar. went to aljunied to scan stuff. took 4 hours to do everything. Donald talked to me and taught me some stuff as i did the scanning... then went home at about 1215am. He taught me to believe in God and in the people.... really spend time with them, really love them and do even the slightest things. Everything we do as a motive, e.g.why do we eat? because we are hungry? why do we give a girl flower, it can be to woo her or it can be jsut to bless her. Everything we do just as a motive, make sure it is a good one that we are having!

Reached home at 1am... really tired and my stomach hurts too cos of the cramps... haha! wat a week... keeping the faith! been reaching home at 12-1am. GOing to spend more time with Him...

Exhausted
Pearline