A New Step: First few steps are the toughest...

Its a Saturday, a new start? Yes. Went to CCM yesterday, for the first time, without a role to play. I have "retired" from the Student Ministry a week ago. I was excited to support Susan who was one of the new discussion leaders. (The other was Leon who I overheard did a great job of leading). I asked lots of questions on forgiveness and learnt about how bullies felt too. I was bullied when I was young and the scars and effects continue on till today. What do we do when we get bullied? The bible says forgive but be proactive in action to sometimes put up barriers against those who continually hurt us or to stand up. I was surprised too as Agus and Jumlie came up to me to offer jobs at the places they work. I wondered which one, but I guess I really have to trust God for the job that he intend for me. Character building time? Yes! In Self Discipline and Continually being motivated!

"Some love us for who we are, and for the very same reason, some hate us"

I spoke to Wai at night at Pancake Parlour. He was so excited sharing about what he experienced at the GC and all I could do was just listen. I felt happy that He was blessed and He knew that God was with him and that He is able to really function in his gifts as a blessing not to just people but to God too. I was quiet, contemplating on what he said. He spoke to me too, He said I was dry and that I needed to get refresh from God. He also said that I was just trying to escape to Singapore because of the difficulties I face in Australia. I need to hear and get refresh seriously from God. I do not know if that is true but it might be. Few days back, God told me in a dream that he will fufill the desires of my heart. But the thing is what was the desire of my heart? To go home? To get a good job? To do business? To come back and be close to God than ever before? I struggled to uncover the desires of my heart. Wai also told me about the angels coming and resting on the buildings and that revival was coming back. I sanked in my heart, I want to be part of that, but felt so far from it, because of the mistakes I took, because I do not think I can be where God wants me to be, like erm... where???!!! Singapore? Australia? Heart Attitude?


God, I have been naughty, but your grace in my life is definitely unlimited, but I shall not take it for granted. Help me...

Worshipped God with the guitar this morning. =) Your Name by Paul Baloche came to me, prayed a little in tongue and reading Galatians about how Paul challenging us not to please man but God. Wai said that I had heart for you. I really hope I do, because the flame in my life for you is burning low....

Hugs... Please help me step by step God. Hope you can read my blog! Well, you did create people to create it. In your name, Jesus, I hope and I pray.

Cheers,
Pearline