long time since i blog... i am bloggin quite late tonight. i had just finished packing up for tom's Xmas events... i was reading elis's blog and another buddy's blog... they havent been updating it. haha! today was talking to elis in the train, surprised me that she reads my blog... haha! cos i dun really expect people to really read it anyway. people always tell me it is so long... guess i think alot... haha... was thinking actually what elis said is true... i dun really show alot of myself out and i keep to my heart many burdens, sometimes it is so tiring... anywayz... things that have happened for last few months:

1. failed my worst paper ever "corporate accounting" but it might be a blessing instead. Hopefully... cos school has not approved the subjects that i can take in Sem 1 and Sem 2

2. Have 3 important birthdays in the month of Dec: Kristin, Elis, Jesus. All very close friends of mine. thank god for them in my life. Brought Kristin for dinner and IMAX THEATRE.. haha! elis one i cant share yet.. cos her bday not over... Jesus... i wish i can talk to u as if u are infront of me... soon i guess...

3. Joined Fitness First... haha! motivated by.... JASMINE YU, my pee... haha! she is a exercise freak manz! but she has been a strong motivation... going for cycling and bodypump. I have been going manz, but i do not really see weight loss though i can see that my muscles on my legs and hands are growing.. haha!

4. feel far from God somehow... read the bible but does not really speak to me... but yet i know he cares... many people tell me that they have promptings from HS about me, but i dont sense it strongly... Elis: Challenges YY: protection. am i losing it? i seem to have lost the passion for christmas as well... i feel kinda disappointed with myself but i work myself hard. I know Jesus is the one.. just that recently.. feel weak... Maybe HS was right from YY about prayer of protection. God knows my inner thoughts and inner fears...

5. Most people going home... Chris Malaysia, almost all my singaporean friends are already home..

6. thinking of future... investments... i believe in the vision of God... but i am asking for signs for more confirmation. actually i find that God did show some: i met more business minded people here. I see how money can be used to spread gospel and do good for people all around the world... hearing the plans of several friends make me think...

7. Finding out more about PR. God's plan??

8. Polar bear died... 25th November 2006... i was never a good caretaker of pets... just disappointed... i do not even know why the cat died... was so scared of it dying.. i think cos i duno where it is going and whether i would see it again... i wonder if i was the cause of its death, felt i have not done my best... why do u appreciate and wish for more when someone dies? i prayed to God and ask him to take care of it... looking at the internet, bible... i do not know where animals go when they die.. i just think God take cares of them...


Message to Elis:
Hey pal, thanks for being with me. i really enjoy being with you. you are someone i find that i can really relate with and i somehow know u kinda understand me quite abit even though i do not share much things. Thanks for accepting me. Very blessed to have a friendship with you. The laughter, the bullying, haha! the secrets... i really feel undeserving to have a buddy like you. Thanks for the being part of my journey in melbourne, will treasure the moments we had... haha! i duno how to express it la... just *hugs*


Message Jesus:
You know my darkest moments... you are the friend who knows me the deepest. thanks for loving me... God i need your grace so much... I find that i failed you the most... but yet when i cant even hear u, u still show ur love to me thru the ppl around me... thru the holy spirit... the story of the prodigal son hit me... oh God, you know my sins, my troubles... Lord, run beside me?? let me know u r near... ... i am afraid to lose to the world... i feel fustrated. i.................
just want to cry...


Crying now... hearing Come Home running... "just come home running as just as u are"...


Pearline