My walk with God has been a struggle recently... guess i grew too independently of God. Recently i am taking steps back, while he has been faithful...

Recently recieved encouragement from Adeline which really surprised me. The email she wrote to me, was just a reminder how God helped me to help her, how i was so enthusiastic in really helping people even though it was tough in the past... Remembered God told me all i needed to do was to love and that was what i did.... Few weeks ago, i realise this strength disappeared, i was handling responsibility but my heart was far from people. i yearned to be alone, i yearned for that own time i enjoyed doing my own stuff, but yet and emptyness filled me....

Drawn by the world, drawn by the things i see and not God.... there was this guilt yet there was this numbness... when people told me negative stuff, the more i became numb, yet a tingle in my heart cared, but yet i also choose not to care...

Well... that got to stop yeah? haha! Talked to Angus, Talked with Nel, Talked with Wai... everyone saying put yourself back up with God. DO NOT GIVE UP.

It is the adjustment of life, of piorities, of moving away from things that really made me felt too stress. Recently Wai went through the book Cure for A Common Life, a part about how our childhood affects our adulthood... i realised one thing, I love helping people, seeing them be happy, not just leading, but do anything that helps someone, help a leader, help God, help people... Is that what i am made for? I havent been happy doing the things i enjoy, and the giving but not recieving have allowed me to run dry and thus a loss in passion for things...Pastor Jeff Shared on this. But yet can i stop giving? or should it be i should start receiving... putting myself in a position to overflow recieving in my life emoitionally, spiritually, physically, but to give as much as the faith God as given me to give...

Exploring oneself makes me understand who i am, a person who loves order and control, which can also be a strong weakness, yet do not be blinded by weaknesses but by the strengths God has placed in my life, if not, then it is thy grace that one focus on... ONE AREA TO CHANGE, START FOCUSING ON THE OUTWARD GOALS not INWARD GOALS...

Where should i start for my bible reading?
Who am i?
What do i want to do?

God... speak to me? =) i know you would... just take those earwax out of my ears, and those guilt and sin that covers my heart....

=) thanks for the friends you put around me... sometimes even the strong need that...

Just a question: How to reach out to people whom i view cooler than i am? haha... people in the world...

Reading 1 Cor 1 & 2

10 But* it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us God's deep secrets.11 No one can know a person's thoughts except that person's own spirit, and no one can know God's thoughts except God's own Spirit.12 And we have received God's Spirit (not the world's spirit), so we can know the wonderful things God has freely given us.

13 When we tell you these things, we do not use words that come from human wisdom. Instead, we speak words given to us by the Spirit, using the Spirit's words to explain spiritual truths.*14 But people who aren't spiritual* can't receive these truths from God's Spirit. It all sounds foolish to them and they can't understand it, for only those who are spiritual can understand what the Spirit means.15 Those who are spiritual can evaluate all things, but they themselves cannot be evaluated by others.16 For,

"Who can know the LORD's thoughts?
Who knows enough to teach him?"*

But we understand these things, for we have the mind of Christ.

The power of the Holy Spirit is stronger than the power of the human mind and willpower...